Lately I've been struggling with something. Or should I say someone.
We used to be really good friends but over time things have fallen apart - mostly on my end.
This is the 2nd week I haven't called her back (after she left 2 messages).
But deep down I feel hurt.
Nothing was done intentionally and nothing was said hurtful....but just a slow wearing down and areas of our lives we didn't see eye-to-eye on.
But I feel my heart being pulled in 2 directions. I don't crave her friendship but I know she does mine. And I know she probably needs it.
So my sinners heart is saying "ah, just ignore her then you don't have to put up with her", but then my sinner saved by grace heart says "a friend loveth at all times..."
*sigh*
5 comments:
Oh Jen.... *hugs*
I get it. I do get it. And I'm sorry. I wish I had some sage advice for you on this one, but I don't....
You *should* probably call her. But I know it's hard.
Blessings & peace, my friend... I'm glad you're in my life.
i wonder about *you* just personally putting some boundaries up in your own conversations with her. Hold back the precious tender things that feel vulnerable & allow the conversations & the company to be a little more shallow - for a season. Maybe your friendship will flourish back into it's old glory - but maybe you need to keep some parts of your life from being critiqued... My humble penny's worth of opinion.
I had a similar situation... it was very hard for me to watch a close relationship I had with a friend fall apart to nothing. Like you, it started with hurt I felt but couldn't really pin point to a specific conflict.
As Paige decribed, I took some time to shield myself from sharing the intimate dealings in my life with this friend. Eventually the friendship dried up to less than casual conversations. More than a year later, I felt a burden in my heart for this lost friendship and ended up calling my friend in attempts to reconcile. That was almost 2 months ago and we are slowly rebuilding our friendship. Things are still a little 'raw' and I still find myself holding back, but I feel ready to see if it is possible to maintain a friendship and still have our differences.
I hope this works out for you!
Love, OJ
You say she "craves your friendship" -- maybe she is very lonely and doesn't have alot of other friends to lean on or be involved with. I don't know -- I'm in a situation where I wish I had more friends to actually do things with or visit with etc. but due to various things I am more isolated than I'd like. Maybe try to put yourself in her shoes for a moment in your imagination and then maybe you'll have more insight into why she is the way she is or why you don't see "eye to eye" on certain topics. It sounds like an opportunity to me for you to be the "bigger" person and to be Christ to this soul. The fact that you can see your "sinner self" and your "sanctified self" responding is maybe a word from God that He is wanting to you learn something from this situation and that he will do a work in your heart - giving you HIS love for this friend, if you'll ask Him to do so.
Just my musings here...
Paige's Saskatchewan Cousin
Aw Jen,
I like what Paige said...that's exactly what I had to do with one of my friendships...it's so awkward because when someone turns away from their marriage and the Lord, what then do you have in common when those things are the dearest things to you?!!! sigh...I'm with you, it would be so easy to just let them go, but I wonder if we're supposed to be the "light in their darkness"...sigh, and at the same time, I find I crave the friendships of those I have a little more in common...yet don't want to pursue in case *I* come across as needy...sigh...what to do...what to do...I know our Father cares about even these areas of our lives...perhaps just be prayerful about how involved you are to be with her.
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