Indie Veil (part 1)

By your 6th pregnancy you kinda feel like you know what you're doing, and keeping up with the 4 babies you already have at home - you sometimes forget you're pregnant and the weeks seem to go as fast as days. You feel like you've done it all and this whole pregnancy/newborn thing will be 'old hat'....

The pregnancy started off like all the others - mild morning sickness and exhaustion.  I got in to see my midwife right away and everything looked great.  We carried on our homeschooling days - with a little more couch time than usual but the hum of our home kept on going as per usual.  But in my 11th week I was sitting in front of the fireplace relaxing when I felt a little pop....then a gush.  I stood up and there was blood everywhere!  Panic!  Then fear as I rushed upstairs, repeating "NO, NO, NO!" over and over again.  I did NOT want to go through another loss.  My heart broke.  

After I cleaned myself up and put a movie on for the kids, I crawled into my own bed and sobbed. I texted my husband and friend and waited for the baby to come.  Thinking it was the end.

My friend texted me back saying not all hope was lost as she had heard of moms with similar stories go on to have healthy babies.  I called my midwife and told her what was going on and she said to go into Emerg.  I waited until my hubby got home then drove myself in putting on a brave face.  

I had to wait a while but finally got checked out.  The internal exam showed that my cervix was still closed so that gave me a 50/50 chance at that point.  Ok....so that's good news....I think?  A little while later I was taken for an ultrasound.  The tech said she couldn't tell me anything so I watched her face, searching for an answer.  Nothing.  I thought she would be a good poker player.  She said she was going to go print off the report and I lay there trying to hold back the waves of anxiety.  She came back a minute later and said "I just forgot to get the heartbeat".....  !!!  So she scanned my belly for a moment then left again.  Good news!!!?

I was taken back to Emerg and was given the good news that baby was still alive and well and that our odds went up to 80%! So, was told to go back home, take it easy and "cross my fingers."  I gratefully went back home, crawled into bed, crossed my fingers, and added prayer to the list.  

It was just before Christmas and hubby was home for a few days so I was able to stay in bed and not worry about keeping the house & kids afloat.  We went ahead and put on Christmas dinner for our friends (hubby doing it all and I 'helped' from the couch) and slowly life went back to normal.  I was able to get off bed rest and could carry on with life - except not allowed to lift the toddler.  THAT is easier said than done.  

The weeks and months went on and I felt good.  Baby was small but growing well (but looking back in my pregnancy journals, I measured quite small with all of them).  I had a few extra ultrasounds to watch the bleed (which never healed but never caused any problems).... the only little glitch/comment that came up with every midwife appt was that there was a good chance baby would be preterm....