Here we go!

Can't believe I'm embarking on our 3rd year of homeschooling! What on earth??!

This year is starting off a bit different than the others.  I'm usually giddy excited and can't refrain from starting before August is even half done!  I'm usually pouring over homeschooling books, blogs and catalogues all summer and filling up my Pinterest board with ideas....but this year I'm feeling a bit wobbly as we get going on our year.  I did start on the 1st, before the long weekend, so *fist pump* for me!

This year we are doing Grades 1 &  2 and we have two COMPLETELY different personalities.  One is a bit of a keener, loves to dig into his workbooks and loves learning (homeschooling Moms dream!), while the other would rather chase butterflies ;) but she is quick and I love the little artistic flair she brings to our school table.

Sweet Sloan is going to be going to preschool this year, as the other two did when they were four, and she is VERY excited as her siblings always speak of the fun times they had at 'Little Miracles'.  I'm excited to see her spread her wings a bit too and I think it'll be a good fit.  She is often begging to do school with the bigs and she is usually right with us as we read, craft or work but I should run to the teaching store and find her her own little workbook so she feels a bit more included.

Then miss Amity is the spice of our life!  Last year she was the one standing on the counter and ruining most projects that were being made, and this year isn't looking any different.  She has taken on mimicking me as I do our couch reading, so we are either talking over her or she'll get us all laughing and we just have to put our books away and embrace the chaos.  I'm learning a lot about embracing the present these days and trying to work through each moment - the good ones and the not so good ones.

And not to forget wee Indie.  She's a dream.  We'll just work on cuddles this year :)

(Finally getting back to finish this post 2 weeks later....)

I was doing a quick prayer this morning and getting my mind set for the day and week ahead.  I like to write out my prayers because it helps me focus.....this is what I scrawled this morning...

Dear Lord, thank you for today. Thank you for health and the feeling of getting back on my feet.  Lord, I give this day to you.  I pray you will allow your spirit to work in us today.  Be in our conversations.  Be in our bible reading & devotions & really speak to us.  Equip me!...because I lack.  Help me to teach, lead and guide these little ones to a REAL & passionate relationship with you.  

THAT is my prayer for this year.  The education and learning part?.....that's second.  

When I tell someone that we home school I often hear the "I could never do that!  I'm not smart enough!"  You know what?  Me neither!  I have confidence in the curriculum I use and our support system.  I'm more of a coach.  

I more often have the feelings of being UNABLE when it comes to leading my little ones to God!  So, I pray that He will do the work, and I will just be the instrument.  I have such peace in that....knowing that HE is ABLE.  

And those are my ramblings as we start this year.  :)

Indie Veil (part 1)

By your 6th pregnancy you kinda feel like you know what you're doing, and keeping up with the 4 babies you already have at home - you sometimes forget you're pregnant and the weeks seem to go as fast as days. You feel like you've done it all and this whole pregnancy/newborn thing will be 'old hat'....

The pregnancy started off like all the others - mild morning sickness and exhaustion.  I got in to see my midwife right away and everything looked great.  We carried on our homeschooling days - with a little more couch time than usual but the hum of our home kept on going as per usual.  But in my 11th week I was sitting in front of the fireplace relaxing when I felt a little pop....then a gush.  I stood up and there was blood everywhere!  Panic!  Then fear as I rushed upstairs, repeating "NO, NO, NO!" over and over again.  I did NOT want to go through another loss.  My heart broke.  

After I cleaned myself up and put a movie on for the kids, I crawled into my own bed and sobbed. I texted my husband and friend and waited for the baby to come.  Thinking it was the end.

My friend texted me back saying not all hope was lost as she had heard of moms with similar stories go on to have healthy babies.  I called my midwife and told her what was going on and she said to go into Emerg.  I waited until my hubby got home then drove myself in putting on a brave face.  

I had to wait a while but finally got checked out.  The internal exam showed that my cervix was still closed so that gave me a 50/50 chance at that point.  Ok....so that's good news....I think?  A little while later I was taken for an ultrasound.  The tech said she couldn't tell me anything so I watched her face, searching for an answer.  Nothing.  I thought she would be a good poker player.  She said she was going to go print off the report and I lay there trying to hold back the waves of anxiety.  She came back a minute later and said "I just forgot to get the heartbeat".....  !!!  So she scanned my belly for a moment then left again.  Good news!!!?

I was taken back to Emerg and was given the good news that baby was still alive and well and that our odds went up to 80%! So, was told to go back home, take it easy and "cross my fingers."  I gratefully went back home, crawled into bed, crossed my fingers, and added prayer to the list.  

It was just before Christmas and hubby was home for a few days so I was able to stay in bed and not worry about keeping the house & kids afloat.  We went ahead and put on Christmas dinner for our friends (hubby doing it all and I 'helped' from the couch) and slowly life went back to normal.  I was able to get off bed rest and could carry on with life - except not allowed to lift the toddler.  THAT is easier said than done.  

The weeks and months went on and I felt good.  Baby was small but growing well (but looking back in my pregnancy journals, I measured quite small with all of them).  I had a few extra ultrasounds to watch the bleed (which never healed but never caused any problems).... the only little glitch/comment that came up with every midwife appt was that there was a good chance baby would be preterm....

Amity Sage

Before she grows up and leaves the house, I thought I should write down her birth story!  I have it all scrawled in my pregnancy journal so I'm not having to remember it from scratch!

Sweet little Amity (another girl!) joined us June 23rd, 2014 at 3:30 pm.
  8 lbs 11 oz!

Early that morning (4 am) I started feeling some low & deep, sharp cramps.  They picked up throughout the morning and around 8:30 I had to decided if Brian needed to stay closer to home with his work truck.  I called in time for him to be able to change his dispatch a bit so he was able to stay within a 2 hour radius (instead of 6).  I was feeling super nesty!  I did all the laundry and washed our bedding.  I organized a few things that needed some attention....y'know important things like the top of the fridge, the toy boxes....  I realized things were really starting to pick up around 10.  I thought I better start to focus more on making sure my hospital bag was packed and I jumped in the shower too.  I texted Brian to tell him he didn't have time for a full load so he just loaded his truck and came home.  (At this time I thought babe would come around early evening...)

Contractions were getting hard.  Some I had to breathe through and they were coming every 2 - 2.5 mintues and lasting 45-60 seconds.  I wasn't getting many breaks and things were starting to feel rushed.  Brian got home and he took the kids to aunties house while I tried to collect the things we needed but ended up spending most of my time leaning over the couch or counter breathing through contractions.  Brian got back and helped me get stuff together then my water broke at 1:05.  I ran upstairs to get changed and noticed that the fluid was dark yellow.  We jumped in the truck and thankfully the contractions relaxed for a bit and I was able to have a breather.  We got to the hospital around 1:20 and our (fill-in) midwife met us there a few minutes later.

Brian started the tub and I got in after she checked us over.  The water was nice - felt like it took the edge off a bit.  The labour felt a bit different at that point - usually when I have my water broken thats when things kick into high gear, but this time, with my water breaking on it's own, it seemed to have calmed things a bit.  The breaks were strangely peaceful and virtually pain-free (almost awkwardly so).  At 2:00 the midwife checked me and I was at 7 - which was my guess. 

 She was a bit hesitant about doing a water birth since it looked like my water had mec in it.  I kept labouring in the tub and the contractions were getting pretty bad so I moved to the bed and got on all fours.  I had a few contractions there and was ready to push.  The breaks were laughable and we were having conversations and joking in between contractions.  Finally I started pushing and after 3 pushed her head came out.....and then I knew she was BIG!  Her shoulders gave me a rough time and had to push super hard.  Then at 3:30 she was here!

She pinked up and cried right away.  I held her and when it was time to cut the cord, Brian being the seasoned one that he is shrugged it off, so I got too! :)

She looked just like Sloan! - except not quite as yellow/fair and she had the chubbiest cheeks!

The pediatrician came to check her over because of having mec in my water, but she was perfectly healthy.

I got all cleaned up, started to nurse her and she did pretty good.  After we were all settled again the midwife asked if we wanted to go home and we said 'yes'!  She made us stay 4 hours just to watch us -lame....but Auntie brought the kids by to meet their littlest sister!  Everyone was super hyper and it was a bit overwhelming so we were quite thankful they were spending the night with their cousins.

Just after 8 we went home and we enjoyed a nice quiet evening just the 3 of us.  Almost felt like a date! ;)

Amity has settled so perfectly in our family and keeps us hopping now that she is just about a year and a half old!  Sweetie!

These are the days...

It occurred to me. 
It was on a day of wrestling with the *how* of parenting. It had been a good day - the kids were happy and helpful, Daddy was home for lunch, the biggest K started a weekly science class for home schoolers, and the younger K had 'jammie day' at her preschool, which she had be counting down to for the past 3 weeks.  But my mind and my heart were tangled with the how we parent:  Are we too protective?  Do our kids look as homely as those other home schooled kids do? (Oh snap, I was working on my being judgmental....)  Do we allow our kids to do this certain thing?  How do we work on this attitude and shape that character?  Is home schooling really the best choice for us?  Ugh, and how do we win with the whole night time potty training thing....x2?
It occurred to me.
I was on my own for supper and the bedtime rigmarole, so I drill sergeant-ed a house tidy before we all piled on the couch for some pre-bed books.  I raced them up the stairs to get their teeth brushed, found all the missing mandatory stuffies, kissed them all, then hugs....more kisses, cuz the last one wasn't slobbery enough....then turned off the lights.  I sighed that little sigh of relief...you know it.  It's the one right after you close that final bedroom door....that "ahhhh" because you made it through that part of the day....but it's just before you are brought back to the reality of the disaster in the kitchen, the mountain(s) of laundry that are looming, and the endless list of 'to-dos' that threaten to overtake...
It occurred to me.
I picked up the hungry babe and we found our spot on the couch. My insecurities and questionings of earlier in the day were brought to the forefront and I went to some of my go-to pages. I found the search box and typed in: 'parenting'.  I didn't really know what I was searching for, so I just scanned the titles of the articles and this is the one I was led to.  I read it.  My heart applauded.  Then it broke.

It occurred to me....that THESE are the days I will be wishing I could go back to.

The days of soft, sweet baby cuddles.  The moments of the 2 yr old applauding and saying "Good job, Mommy!  Good job, folding laundry!"  The tireless times the girlie girl asks for your undivided attention, so she can show you the new dance she made.  And the limited days (minutes?) where your 6 yr old boy still lets his Mommy hold his hand.
How many times will I need to hear that 'you will have time to clean when the kids are gone'.  How many times will it take before I learn the lesson that "Cleanliness isn't next to godliness.  Love is."

I hope I'm listening. I hope it's tattooed on my heart. That NOW is the time I will be wanting to rewind to.

Settling into fall

So, we had our baby.....3 1/2 months ago!!
Sweet, sweet baby girl.
I need to write out her birth story (I have it scratched out in my journal) but just want to get it up on here hopefully soon.

Our summer was crazy but good.  It was weird and lovely.  It went fast but lingered too.
I was giddy but dragging my feet for fall.  September meant the 4 week count down to the 3rd Annual Okanagan Walk to Remember.  It took me a bit to recover from the previous year and with the new baby and just a ton on my plate I was dreading it a little.  The day came and it was beautiful.  I was prepared and considering not being able to put in 100%, it went fabulously.  I try not to be discouraged by the attendance (down from last year) but I'm learning to give myself grace.

The giddy part of fall was.......HOMESCHOOL!!!
Yep.  We're doing it!
Homeschool was always a 2nd option for us.  In my 'dream world' I always pictured us homeschooling on a farm/acreage but never really put that dream into reality until the second half of summer (minus the acreage unfortunately - someday!!!).  There was a teachers strike the last couple weeks of June which carried on 3 or 4 weeks into September, so what started off as a "I guess we will just have to homeschool" joke, turned into a serious conversation.  A little research, some conversations with good friends & relatives and a couple weeks later we took the plunge!  It's taken a bit to get everything figured out but now that we are into our 8th week it's going awesomely!!  I seriously never thought I would enjoy it as much as I have.  Some weeks are pretty scheduled and lots of book work (which he loves so it's never a hard sell), and others are pretty relaxed and off the cuff.
Oh, I am LOVING fall!  It's always been my favorite season but then add in homeschool and living in the Okanagan?? Ridiculous.
Now, all I need is that acreage!

 (Learning the life cycles of fish - seeing the spawning trout)

(This craft had way to much prep & clean up - but fun nonetheless)

Thoughts at 39 (weeks)

Oh, the crazy days of waiting for baby.  FOUR days until due date!
I have absolutely no idea when this baby will come.  I was going to guess early but nothing seems to point to that this time... I usually have a good day of pre-labour before so I'm used to lots of warning.  About a week ago I had a full on 'thought I was in labour timing contractions' episode but then I guess baby disengaged and positioned itself crooked with it's head on the side of my pelvis so that stopped all the excitement.  A very crazy, random, and exhausting day....hard to get your head back into normal life after that....
But I did get in a good mental space again and had a good week.  Was (some what) productive, did some fun stuff with the kids, slept decent & caught up with naps, finished stocking the freezer, finished packing the hospital & kids bags, (mostly) kept the house tidy....
I've had a fill in midwife for the past 2 weeks and even though I quite enjoyed having her I am very excited my midwife will be back mid next week. Hoping babe will wait until then! We were actually hoping babe would come either Thursday or Friday of this past week but now we are hoping for next Friday or Saturday - works better with Brian's shifts and would be great to have him/her at the beginning of the long weekend and Brian would only have to take one day off!  But, that is very unlikely :P I'm not too worried about timing - God has proved many times that He knows best and I'm good with that.
This baby has been the craziest for positioning.  Was still flipping back and forth from breech at 36 weeks, and for the past month likes to lay way on my side or posterior.  I've been doing all the 'optimal fetal positioning' exercises in the book DILIGENTLY - which always work until about an hour later.  I even scrubbed my kitchen floors on my hands and knees to get baby to flip which again worked briefly.  So, am hoping that this won't be an issue when the time comes!  I'm thankful it's not breech but would love to avoid back labour!
I can tell my fluid is getting lower.... those sweet pokes and rolls are getting quite painful.  My hips are starting to lose it too....hold on body, hold on! I still need you!
I have no plans next week so I'll have to start planning some outings or coffee dates to keep my head sane. All the teeny tiny cloth diapers are washed and ready to do.  The wee sleepers and onesies are tucked away in the drawer...
I'm trying my best to enjoy these last few days.  Overall I've felt really good this pregnancy and am enjoying the (getting big!) bump.... Not often do we get to experience this miracle so soaking up these last few days - even if my feet are getting swollen and my joints are falling apart :P
Can't wait to meet you little one!

(39 weeks)

30 weeks and my bi-annual update....

I'm pregnant.  Have I mentioned that yet?  It's still fun and exciting the 5th time around..... Baby is healthy and growing nicely.  My iron is super low but I think I'm on the upswing since I'm getting some energy back.  Life seems so crazy busy and chaotic at times but it's starting to be our normal, so I think this new little one will fit in quite nicely.

I try to ignore the thoughts of this coming fall with my oldest starting full-time kindergarten, my big little girl going to preschool, and the fact that I have to get them plus a full of life toddler and a newborn fed and out the door by just after 8 am....and me preferably out of my jammies....
So, I redirect my thoughts to the coming summer.... a soft and sweet smelling baby, lazy mornings, hot sunshine, shady maples, soft grass, sprinklers and squealing children, icey drinks on the deck and absolutely no schedule.  It's gonna be good.  Sooooo good!

But for now I will enjoy these last 2 months + of an ever growing belly.  I'm still comfortable, except for sore hips and vericose veins....  My nesting returned with full force this spring so I was able to cross off half of my (over the top) to-do list and am starting to get to the point where I'm ok if I don't get the rest done.  (Except for my oven.... I MUST CLEAN MY OVEN!!!)
I'm working 1 day a week and hoping to get another month in.  It requires lots of sitting and bending at the same time (I do advanced foot care) so it all depends on how big my belly gets and how sore my back gets.

A couple weeks ago.  28 weeks I think?:

I sold our old cheap cherry wood crib and change table; I have to admit I was a bit teary when it drove away.... but I found the exact same crib in white FOR FREE!  I set it up today and hung a few pictures on baby's side of the room.  It's super cute - baby is going to love it....

My hubby is also going full force with projects.  He put up trim in a few rooms upstairs, did a ton of yard work and odd jobs, installed a sprinkler system in our entire yard, now he is onto hauling in dirt and sod for our backyard.....all in between working 60 hour weeks and sleeping 5-6 hours at night... poor guy.  He's so tired.

Needless to say we are both counting down the days when we go on a 4 day getaway (sans kids!!!) to celebrate our 10th anniversary.  It's gonna be good. Sooooo good!  We haven't gone anywhere overnight without kids in 6 years....except to go have another kid.... so I think it's due :)

I'm finally getting back into the swing of things with our 3rd Annual Okanagan Walk to Remember.  Some days it's like pulling teeth to get people on board and find sponsors (down right frustrating at times), but have also been very blessed by some generous help and connections.  September scares me, but we'll survive.  I hope.  I have to remind myself that I know 100% that this is where God wants me to be and where my leftover energy and passions are to go, so I have total faith that He will give me the strength and abilities to do His will.  Some days I don't know what that is but I keep plodding along and pray He will lead me.  And He does.

Happy Easter Everyone.  He LIVES!