30 weeks and my bi-annual update....

I'm pregnant.  Have I mentioned that yet?  It's still fun and exciting the 5th time around..... Baby is healthy and growing nicely.  My iron is super low but I think I'm on the upswing since I'm getting some energy back.  Life seems so crazy busy and chaotic at times but it's starting to be our normal, so I think this new little one will fit in quite nicely.

I try to ignore the thoughts of this coming fall with my oldest starting full-time kindergarten, my big little girl going to preschool, and the fact that I have to get them plus a full of life toddler and a newborn fed and out the door by just after 8 am....and me preferably out of my jammies....
So, I redirect my thoughts to the coming summer.... a soft and sweet smelling baby, lazy mornings, hot sunshine, shady maples, soft grass, sprinklers and squealing children, icey drinks on the deck and absolutely no schedule.  It's gonna be good.  Sooooo good!

But for now I will enjoy these last 2 months + of an ever growing belly.  I'm still comfortable, except for sore hips and vericose veins....  My nesting returned with full force this spring so I was able to cross off half of my (over the top) to-do list and am starting to get to the point where I'm ok if I don't get the rest done.  (Except for my oven.... I MUST CLEAN MY OVEN!!!)
I'm working 1 day a week and hoping to get another month in.  It requires lots of sitting and bending at the same time (I do advanced foot care) so it all depends on how big my belly gets and how sore my back gets.

A couple weeks ago.  28 weeks I think?:

I sold our old cheap cherry wood crib and change table; I have to admit I was a bit teary when it drove away.... but I found the exact same crib in white FOR FREE!  I set it up today and hung a few pictures on baby's side of the room.  It's super cute - baby is going to love it....

My hubby is also going full force with projects.  He put up trim in a few rooms upstairs, did a ton of yard work and odd jobs, installed a sprinkler system in our entire yard, now he is onto hauling in dirt and sod for our backyard.....all in between working 60 hour weeks and sleeping 5-6 hours at night... poor guy.  He's so tired.

Needless to say we are both counting down the days when we go on a 4 day getaway (sans kids!!!) to celebrate our 10th anniversary.  It's gonna be good. Sooooo good!  We haven't gone anywhere overnight without kids in 6 years....except to go have another kid.... so I think it's due :)

I'm finally getting back into the swing of things with our 3rd Annual Okanagan Walk to Remember.  Some days it's like pulling teeth to get people on board and find sponsors (down right frustrating at times), but have also been very blessed by some generous help and connections.  September scares me, but we'll survive.  I hope.  I have to remind myself that I know 100% that this is where God wants me to be and where my leftover energy and passions are to go, so I have total faith that He will give me the strength and abilities to do His will.  Some days I don't know what that is but I keep plodding along and pray He will lead me.  And He does.

Happy Easter Everyone.  He LIVES!

Sometimes I lie...

Moving to a new place brings lots of those questions & conversations,
-"Where are you from?"
-"What does your husband do?"
-"Do you work?"
-"When are you due?"
-"Is this your first?"
-"How many other kids do you have?....."

I lie on that last one.  Most times I lie and say 2, but sometimes I lie and say 3....
I lose either way.

My bones ache, but I am happy as a clam.
Life has been so full lately.  I don't think I've been so busy in my whole entire life, but I wouldn't want it any other way!  Living in a big ol' house with lots of kids (k, well our house isn't really that old and we don't have that many kids...(yet)) but at this rate we'll get there ;)

House reno's (if you count painting, decorating and odd fix-it jobs, renos...) are coming along.  We painted and semi-set up the nursery this past week.  Then, since I wanted to set up the crib, we switched Kalli into a toddler bed and so far so good!  2 nights and 2 naps down without much of a struggle!  (being the little monkey that she is I thought it was going to be more of a headache!)
Now I think she wants to potty train.  I was kinda hoping she would wait until after baby, but I guess we'll pull out the potty and see what happens.  Kellan took forever, and regressed a few times, so I'm not too excited to start with Kalli.  But, I've heard girls are easier...so we'll see. All I know is that I'd much rather change a dirty diaper on my own time, then rushing through the grocery store to get to the bathroom with 3 kids and a shopping cart only to end up with wet pants....

Sorry if this doesn't make sense, It's 4:30 am.....Kalli fell out of her bed and now baby won't let me get back to sleep.

I've been doing more fun stuff with the kids lately and I am happy about that.  I've always been too uptight about making big messes, and haven't ever really been a 'toddler' person before, but I'm thankful I'm changing, learning and growing.
Today I let the kids play in the dirt, went shopping with said dirty kids who were wearing old mismatched hand-me-downs, let Kellan play playdough and didn't get frustrated when I saw the mess on the floor, had a supper picnic outside since our kitchen was too messy to eat there, let/help Kellan plant his own little herb pots....and we had a great time doing it.  2 years ago that would have been a different story.  My house is a lot messier and chaotic, but we're having too much fun to care :)

(A little 'Resurrection' easter egg hunt.  God and Chocolate? WIN WIN!)

 He saw these 'Lightning McQueen' gardening gloves at Walmart today and promised to pay for them out of his piggy bank stash.  :)

She only managed to grab one handful of dirt from her little perch...

Speaking of baby, I think we're head down now!  2 nights ago I went to bed with an oh so sore stomach, the kind where it feels like it is ripping open - I am guessing baby was transverse.  Then, this morning after some grimacing kicks to my side I felt baby nestle nicely on my bladder :)  So, now I'm hoping baby stays there!

Sister-in-laws with soon-to-be cousins!   V- 8 months & I'm 6 months!

Kalli's Dedication

We (finally) had Kalli dedicated a few weeks ago (or should I say a couple months....)
With our move and summer craziness it didn't happen when we would have liked it to, but we did get it done.  We wanted to wait until we were settled and found a church that we will be raising our family in, and I think we have.

The senior pastor here is awesome (as well as the other 2 :)  And if we are judging pastors on how many times their sermons make me cry, well he is definitely the winner.  (That probably is mostly because since we've gotten here he has preached on forgiveness and Job....2 topics that strike me a little harder than others...)
Anyways, it was a beautiful service and public commitment of raising our daughter (children) to know the Lord.

Before & After take 1 & some silliness

This might not be the most exciting before & after picture, but it's exciting to me :)

The pantry.  It's been a dumping ground for the past few weeks, but now that we have most of our boxes unpacked, it's now time for me to organize.

Before:

After: (ahhhhh.....contented sigh.....)

And now for our little stinkers.  We were wondering why Kalli was so quiet playing upstairs yesterday afternoon (famous last words).
Grease Monkey!

It was EVERYWHERE!  Thankfully, only on her and 2 globs on the floor :)  So if you wonder why her hair looks a bit greasy for the next week or two....this is why:

And a little post Merry Christmas for you! :)

Windy & rainy Tuesday...yes my life revolves around weather these days.

Yesterday was (mostly) a success. For starters, we got a majority Conservative government now! Wootwoot!
Voting had been on my mind all day. We went for a walk in the morning and when I got to the polling station I realized I had forgot my voting card! (which I found out I didn't need afterall...) So back home I went. Then I decided to wait until Brian came home and I wouldn't have to pack up the kids again. So, Brian came home, we did a bit of yard work then he told me to go vote. Just as I was pulling away, Brian came running out to the car and had to go on a fire call. No biggie - I'd just go when he got back.... 2 hours later at 7:15, Brian was not home. So, realizing I was running out of time, I made it to the polls with the kidlets in tow with 7 minutes to spare. Nice.
I'm sure I didn't need to vote, but in my own head I know I did my part.

The Weatherman was gracious to us and came through with the forecast. We took a leisurely stroll in the morning, and worked in the yard for a couple hours in the afternoon. The front lawn is neat & tidy and 1/2 of the flower beds are prepped.

The kids were a wee bit underdressed and I did add a few layers, but it just felt good to pull out all the summer clothes...even if it is a bit premature.
The wind was a bit of a nuisance and I now have feet that are already in desperate need of a pedicure, but the sun and fresh air was good for the soul. Especially cuz today looks like a monster outside...

Potty training is having it's ups & downs.  Lots of downs at the moment :(  I've been doing lots of incentive work with only slight success and last night I even took away the overly loved puppy...which I don't think did anything - except make for a late night...and probably a grumpy day.  Darn.

2 Questions...
1) K, the first one is not a question, but I would love some potty training advice, tips & encouragement.
2) Now that he has had 1 night without puppy, do I give it back to him OR is this a good opportunity to take it away for good.  I don't mind him being attached to something, but he does suck his fingers when he has puppy, so I don't want to create a problem for later on.

Kalli girl has 3 teeth on the verge of popping through.  She's been eating up a storm and I feel like this phase has jumped on us instead of a gradual transition.  She LOVES food!  Grabbing at whatever we are eating and seems to never get enough.  Thankfully breastfeeding is still in full force - I think I am still grieving Kellan's early weaning and don't want a replay of last time.

Child A + Child B = Mommy holding a heap of tears on the floor

You know your day isn't going to go well when 10 minutes into the morning routine, Child A walks into corner of door causing mommy to place Child B on bed and go to comfort Child A's cries.  While Mommy's attention is tuned to distressed Child A, wiggly & curious Child B decides to roll off bed, increasing the overall volume and tear level to a maximum.  Daddy enters to find mommy, not sure whether to laugh or cry herself, holding two red faced children...
Insert coffee & concussion checklist here...

He had a tag on the inside of his pants that was scratching him so I told him to take his pants off....

Squash? Not so much...

Our little family

I was sitting on the freshly vacuumed (by my husband!) living room floor, folding a mish mash of little, pink, boy, big, soft & blue laundry with a buzz of life around me.  A little girl jumping in the doorway next to me, a little jammie clad boy playing air drums and beatboxing while running circles around me, and my love unloading the dishwasher in the kitchen nearby.
My well of love inside me was over flowing and I just sat & smiled.
"I love our little family" I said with a sigh.
"Ya?" I heard him reply behind me, "it's all right I guess..."

Punk.

Dreamin'

I had a few rare kidless moments so I quickly ran uptown to do errands.  I thought I would stop off at the thrift store to see if I could find a few things Kalli was missing in her wardrobe.  One of the volunteers/workers saw me and said "are you looking for boy stuff or girl stuff?"  To which I replied, "both".  She had just opened up a bag of boy clothes and had them all spread out on their work table.  I worked my way through the neatly folded piles and lay a few items aside to purchase.  As I was standing there a (used to be) co-worker came up to me and we started into some small talk.
She looked at the clothes in my hand and said, "didn't you have a girl?"
Embarrassed that I saw that she noticed the outfits in my hand.
"Yes." I replied.
"And she's not a newborn anymore, is she?"
"No." I heard myself say as I felt my cheeks grow warm, "but I can dream can't I?"
I walked up to the till and paid for the little bag of newborn boy clothes. 
And even if that dream doesn't come true, I'm only out a couple bucks.

Bed head & Cutie (bed) bug

Three

Three years. Has it really been that long?

We had a beautiful day yesterday. A day of celebration, memories, sadness, joyfulness & thanksgiving. A time of holding our earthly children a little bit tighter and reflecting on those moments we held that sweet frail body. Bittersweet beauty.
This past year I wrestled a lot with how to grieve. And the days leading up to his birthday I struggled again with this whole 'mothering a missing child'. I finally decided to release myself of my expectations and to just keep the simple traditions.  Allowing myself to celebrate and grieve as the feeling come. It was freeing.
It also could have been the fact that it's been 3 years. Each year, altho the feelings of sadness and grief are still very real, it gets easier. The pain is more tender than gut-wrenching...but that also could be just the cycle of grief at the moment - the gut-wrenching might be waiting for me around the corner...
As we were praying for our supper meal, I found myself thanking God for our family. Thanking Him for Brennan. I would never ask Him for pain, but I would never want Him to have spared us Brennan's life.
I also couldn't help but envision a third little body around our table. I would have been a different mother, but that aching void would be filled...
Ahh, the many incomplete and confusing thoughts of life. We all have them don't we?...and since I don't know where this is going, I'll just say,
Happy Birthday my beautiful firstborn. We love you & miss you.

Tis the season of life

As I was feeling pathetic for wanting to go to bed at 10:02pm last night, I went on facebook to see how everyone else was bringing in the new year. After reading numerous status' from other moms/parents who were too tired to stay up until midnight and who were also dealing with sick little ones...I was encouraged to know that I wasn't the only one who felt like a party pooper.
So, I've dealt with the fact that for the next who-knows-how-many years, I will be greeting the new year 3 hours early for the sake of the kids, while tending to sick babies or even waiting until I wake in the morning.
And I'm ok with that.

Happy New Years!!!

Made for Baby

Some things just weren't meant for little boys...

Exhibit A: The wool diaper soaker-


(P- do you think if I put the green one through a normal wash cycle on my washing machine it would shink enough to fit Kalli or at least the next size up?)

Exhibit B: The Jolly Jumper-


(and no he didn't exceed the weight limit :)

And here are some Christmas cuties:

Kellan 2008-

Growing Up

Some days are rushed and feel full. Those are they days that things 'get done' but those are also the days that you miss your kids 'growing up'.
Then there are the slower days where time is better spend cuddling and getting those extra smooches in. Those are my favorite kinda days. Who cares if the dishes don't get washed - dishes don't grow up, kids do.
(although I wish dishes would grow up and wash themselves....)

Cuddles? Kiss!?

We couldn't have asked for a better big brother for our little girl.
Only minor injuries have resulted from his loving touch...

I'm Thankful for...

...Grandparents that come visit, maken meals, spoil the chillens with gifts and extra cuddles


...the return of hot summer days



...fun things that arrive in the mail

...Aunties that come help too

...those sweet sweet moments...

...a loving big brother and a gracious little sister

I'm learning...

...that little girls are fun :)

...to procrastinate less
...that taking a nap at 8 pm is ok

...to figure out what we are having for supper BEFORE 4 pm and that if I find spare time in the morning to peel potatoes - then I will
...to allot an extra 1/2 hr for running errands up town because of all of the people who stop us to see our new pink hatted miracle

...to not get frustrated when my schedule or plan for the day gets rearranged or ruined
...that when you think baby is done filling her diaper - wait 5 minutes
...that extra cuddles with a little boy come BEFORE peeling potatoes

...that even tho I have a "million dollar family" - to me it's priceless

Curious

A question for you moms out there.
Which child was the *hardest* to adjust to? The 1st? 2nd? 3rd? (or 4th or 5th or 9th...)
Just curious.

M Day 2010