Over the past week or two, obviously Brennan has been on my mind. A friend of mine posted a bit about her grief and wrote how lonely it is. I too find it such a lonely road, but then I got thinking about how blessed we have been to have so many of the 'little things' that other grieving parents don't have and experienced some beautiful moments that many miss out on. I think this is one of the differences between having a miscarriage and having a stillborn. We got to hold our child, take pictures, kiss soft cheeks and wrap him in blankets. So many parents catch glimpses of their lost children in forms of a flush of a toilet or the contents of a biohazard container in an OR room. No blankets or outfits are folded and placed in memory boxes. No pictures of soft forms with blood red lips grace bookshelves or mantles. Few words of comfort or condolence are given since the news of a coming baby wasn't yet spread and the parents don't feel allowed to utter the word 'miscarriage' in public.
There is no difference in the fact that they were beautifully created beings formed by the hands of God.
Oh, how I ache for you moms & families. So sorry for your losses and feeling selfish in my grief.
I'm sorry this is so raw and unedited. I have a hard time writing gently sometimes or looking at things from different/all point-of-views. I'm just grieving for you parents that feel alone in your loss.
I pray that you are comforted in the fact that God holds your tiny babies in His loving arms.
6 comments:
Needed this today, Jen. I miss our four babies that only God knew. I do think that those that have miscarried or lost children (whatever stage it might have been) can empathize so much easier with you because they do know the hurt and pain.
This is so beautifully written Jen. It's real, and I totally appreciate that.
Your sweet and kind post brought tears to my eyes. We miscarried our first little one a year and a half ago and your tender words reminded me that there are other people out there who empathize with the pain that we feel when "that day" comes around every year.
Your post was also a gentle reminder for me to continue to pray for those around me who have also experienced the loss of a child. Our continued prayers are with you and your family as well. Thank-you for your post :D
Jen, thank you so much to reaching out to others in your grief, you are amazing! I miscarried twice and so appreciate your recognition and beautiful sentiments regarding this. I cannot imagine having a stillborn and am so sorry for your loss. You are such an inspiration and have helped me in so many ways, most recently I am so glad it has been as another mother as I now have a beautiful 10 month old daughter. Thank you for sharing so rawly. May God richly bless you and your beautiful family ;-)
Jenn
i love how you are willing to do hard things.
Hi Jen,
I wanted to thank you for this post. I cried when I read this. You are so right. I want to thank you for your honesty and raw writing. Coming from a mom who has had four miscarriages it is refreshing to have someone recognize that it is hard as well to have a miscarriage and never see your baby. Our last baby that died, I was five months along and I did hold her. Some people still seem to brush it aside as "just a miscarriage" because she was not full term. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing. I am going to read your story now....and no doubt there will be more tears.
Love in Christ.
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