I had been working on a really good blog post in my head. I was all fired up to blog more and this was going to be the start I needed, I was just waiting to get back from holidays to write it.
But as a sat in our mountain chalet reading a few blogs on my Dad's iPhone, I read my post....on someone elses blog.
Our stories are similar in the fact that we both have lost a child, but our stories are very different too. She wrote how since having her new baby girl, she has often 'heard' or sensed that her missing child needed her - even to the point where she would get up from her chair to tend to the cries, but then being reminded that her little boy was no longer with her...
I don't want to steal her post or for her to think I copied her or even to down-play her grief/son's life, but I just think it was amazing that I have had many similar experiences - even though I never heard my baby cry.
Numerous times have I been walking and counting heads - looking for the third one but then reminded I only have the two. Or I hear a child cry then I realize there is a girl happily playing on my lap and another little boy playing air guitar in the living room.
I guess, as a 'heavenly mother' our hearts are always tuned to the ones who have left us early.
Thank you F for your post and especially sharing your heart, your grief and your sons life with us.
Glad I got to finally meet you too.
2 comments:
Lots of tears reading this today - a big week of missing my two baby boys. This morning in the shoe store I was trying to imagine what it would be like shopping with not just one but two of my children, or even with all three. And the thought stayed with me as I walked across the parking lot, holding just one but thinking of them all. Sometimes I picture their car seats in my vehicle. Their little beds in empty rooms of our home. Their clothes in the laundry. I imagine what it would be like to make lunch for each one of them. Clean up their clutter of toys. Tuck them all into bed. They never truly leave us, these little ones who are gone...
jen, i just read this today. so comforting to know that i'm not alone in my grief. that what i exerience is normal and that there are other who can identify. thanks for posting this. it was so good to finally meet you. i've so loved getting to know you and learning from you through your blog.
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