I have decided that the years haven't gotten easier. The 4th is definitely easier than the 1st....but 2, 3, & 4....feels the same to me....
Yesterday was *good*. Started out raw but God sent little 'winks' to me all throughout the day.
I'm going to tell you about those 'winks' (as a friend likes to refer to them as :)
- a few texts & messages in the morning (and days leading up to) from people who remembered. Thankful for people who grieve *with* us...and not just when I remind them....
- a very touching and blessed gift from a friend. Read her blog here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
- special notes and FB messages - thanks for caring and praying for us
- 2 beautiful bouquets of flowers. I look forward to these ones every year :) A single red rose from Brian's parents and 4 orange roses for his '4th' birthday from a dear friend (I told her yesterday that I am excited for his 25th or even 50th birthday to come along!! ;) )
- after a long and empty search for some cute cupcakes (you'd think since we live in a city that would be easy to find) I came across a cheese cake. The same kind Bri and I gorged ourselves on in a hotel room in the mountains on a little getaway after we had Brennan.... Made me smile since I had totally forgot and wasn't even trying to find it!
- a fun evening together as a family. Our traditional Brennan supper, a snowball fight with balloons :), singing "Happy Birthday!" dessert, and extra cuddles again at bedtime.
- and the most special one of all....it was more of a God hug....yes I felt baby move!!! And it wasn't even just a "i think so" flutter, it was 5 solid "I AM HERE" soft kicks! (Thanks for praying with me on this one :)
Snapshots of our evening...
Love you sweet firstborn. Always will.
4 comments:
Awww......such a beautiful, tender post! I loved it.
very special the way you remember and celebrate Brennan! So glad you got to feel the baby move - how amazing!!!!
i'm glad there are friends/family who remember his birthday and show you love and care on the 23rd each year.
Oh J, I love love love how you celebrate Brennan's day! so great! I also love the "winks". I find those often also! I think I'll start using that term too. You have a beautiful family.
You are so very welcome for our little way of showing we care,thankyou for allowing us this honor. When we hurt, it feels good to show compassion to someone else who is hurting and know that we can all make it together. Can you believe that we had a workshop yesterday on compassion? I think that's a wink!
I prayed and prayed that you would feel baby kick! Isn't God marvelous?!
Sounds like a beautiful day of remembrance. Glad you felt the baby kick!
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