These are the days...

It occurred to me. 
It was on a day of wrestling with the *how* of parenting. It had been a good day - the kids were happy and helpful, Daddy was home for lunch, the biggest K started a weekly science class for home schoolers, and the younger K had 'jammie day' at her preschool, which she had be counting down to for the past 3 weeks.  But my mind and my heart were tangled with the how we parent:  Are we too protective?  Do our kids look as homely as those other home schooled kids do? (Oh snap, I was working on my being judgmental....)  Do we allow our kids to do this certain thing?  How do we work on this attitude and shape that character?  Is home schooling really the best choice for us?  Ugh, and how do we win with the whole night time potty training thing....x2?
It occurred to me.
I was on my own for supper and the bedtime rigmarole, so I drill sergeant-ed a house tidy before we all piled on the couch for some pre-bed books.  I raced them up the stairs to get their teeth brushed, found all the missing mandatory stuffies, kissed them all, then hugs....more kisses, cuz the last one wasn't slobbery enough....then turned off the lights.  I sighed that little sigh of relief...you know it.  It's the one right after you close that final bedroom door....that "ahhhh" because you made it through that part of the day....but it's just before you are brought back to the reality of the disaster in the kitchen, the mountain(s) of laundry that are looming, and the endless list of 'to-dos' that threaten to overtake...
It occurred to me.
I picked up the hungry babe and we found our spot on the couch. My insecurities and questionings of earlier in the day were brought to the forefront and I went to some of my go-to pages. I found the search box and typed in: 'parenting'.  I didn't really know what I was searching for, so I just scanned the titles of the articles and this is the one I was led to.  I read it.  My heart applauded.  Then it broke.

It occurred to me....that THESE are the days I will be wishing I could go back to.

The days of soft, sweet baby cuddles.  The moments of the 2 yr old applauding and saying "Good job, Mommy!  Good job, folding laundry!"  The tireless times the girlie girl asks for your undivided attention, so she can show you the new dance she made.  And the limited days (minutes?) where your 6 yr old boy still lets his Mommy hold his hand.
How many times will I need to hear that 'you will have time to clean when the kids are gone'.  How many times will it take before I learn the lesson that "Cleanliness isn't next to godliness.  Love is."

I hope I'm listening. I hope it's tattooed on my heart. That NOW is the time I will be wanting to rewind to.